I like to think I know what
death is. I like to think that it’s something I could look at straight. When
Pop tell me he need my help and I see that black knife slid into the belt of
his pants, I follow Pop out the house, try to keep my back straight, my shoulders
even as a hanger; that’s how Pop walks. I try to look like this is normal and
boring so Pop will think I’ve earned these thirteen years, so Pop will know I’m
ready to pull what needs to be pulled, separate innards from muscle, organs
from cavities. I want Pop to know I can get bloody. Today’s my birthday. I grab the door so it don’t
slam, ease it into the jamb. I don’t want Mam or Kayla to wake up with none of
us in the house. Better for them to sleep. Better for my little sister, Kayla,
to sleep, because on nights when Leonie’s out working, she wake up every hour,
sit straight up in the bed, and scream. Better for Grandma Mam to sleep,
because the chemo done dried her up and hollowed her out the way the sun and
the air do water oaks. Pop weaves in and out of the trees, straight and slim
and brown as a young pine tree.
Baca juga
You could get worms, Pop had aid.
Later that night, he told me stories about him and his sisters and brothers shoes
each and them for church. They all got worms, and when they used the outhouse,
they pulled worms out of their butts. I don’t tell Pop, but that was more
effective than the whipping. Pop picks the unlucky goat, ties a rope around its
head like a noose, leads it out the pen. The others bleat and rush him, butting
his legs, licking his pants. “Get!
Get!” Pop says, and kicks them away. I think the goats understand each other; I
can see it in the aggressive butts of their heads, in the way they bite Pop’s
pants and yank. I think they know what that loose rope tied around the goat’s
neck means.
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